Quote of the Day

Today on a radio show Roger Clemens spoke in reference to the book coming out American Icon: The Fall of Roger Clemens and the Rise of Steroids in America's Pastime. When speaking about using steriods he said, "It doesn't make sense. Our family has a history of heart problems. My brother had a heart attack in his late 40s. My step-dad died of a heart attack." Awesome. Just awesome. This opens up a whole new field of medicine. Marital Genetics.

The Broken English Language II

Another story that comes to mind here is one that Jenna told me. A co-worker of hers has a sister that works in the maternity part of a hospital. She went into a new mother's room to check up on her and her daughter. She checked the sheet and saw La-Ia. She asked the mother, "How do you pronounce it?" It sounded pretty to her either way. Lie ee ya or Lie ya. The mother responded, "The dash is not silent. It's La Dash Ia." Holy crap. Someone please pray for this kid when she gets to an English class. My mom has had the best response to this story so far. What if it's a hyphen? La Hyphen Ia.

The Broken English Language

Today I am at Great Clips in Brandon returning a haircut I got on Saturday. I'm waiting in the lobby when I hear a lady in one of the chairs call back to her son on the floor next to me "Are you being have?" As in a separation of the word behave. OMG!

Irony

Irony has kept people laughing for hundreds of years. It may also one day kill someone.

The Firefighting Toddler

In our apartment we have to have the most sensitive fire alarms I've ever seen. Every time we turn on the stove, microwave soup for too long, or someone smokes on the back porch with the door open the fire alarms go off. As a quick resolution Jenna or I will usually take a kitchen towel and wave it over the alarm to get it to stop. Well, today the apartment complex is testing the fire alarms. They have a main panel right outside our door where the maintenance guys push a button and every fire alarm in the whole building goes off. Since they're checking each apartment individually, the alarms are going off a lot. I'm sitting here just letting my ears bleed over and over again. What does Nathan do? Goes to the kitchen, grabs a towel, and starts fanning the alarms. Man he cracks me up.

Family Portraits

While on my lunch today, we took Nathan up to the clinic to get an x-ray of his sinuses to make sure he didn't have an infection. Well after the terrible-twos tantrum in the lobby for about a half an hour, they finally took us back to the second waiting room. Seriously, it was just another waiting room but back behind the closed doors. There was another tv and magazines and everything. We waited there for another 10 minutes and the technician finally calls us in to get the x-rays. First Jenna takes him in and they close the door behind them. Five minutes later I'm called in for backup. Nathan is not happy about what is trying to take place. I walk into the x-ray machine room they have for kids and it seemed like I walked into a janitor's closet with 1950's vaccums and hoses computers strapped to the wall. The pipes and cables looked like they were from the personality test from the State Fair or something. So they give me a lead apron to put on. I look over at Jenna and she has a full body apron going from her shoulders down to her knees. I look at mine and it looks like a waitor's apron that just barely went from my waist to the top of my knees. At least my car keys are safe I thought to myself. Nathan had something similar to what I had on, but he's so skinny it was sagging off his waist. Then we get in front of this light that puts cross-hairs over his face and we're told to keep him still. Nathan doesn't keep still. When he's sleeping it's like Curly from the Three Stooges running around in a circle on the ground, so when he's awake it's like trying to keep an alligator still. The technician starts poppin' off x-rays like we're at a photo shoot. She eventually runs out of cartidges or gets tired of the alligator bayou show goin' on in front of her and leaves the room to check the results. She comes back and says we have to start over. Jenna gets on the other side of the x-ray machine and tries to entertain him with videos from her phone. So Nathan and I are standing there with our aprons strictly designed to protect only the parts that make us male and the technician starts firing off the particle blaster again like she sees Galaxia on her screen in the other room. She leaves the room again and I swear my arms were hot. Not in that sense where you're like "man, feelin' the burn in my muscles from restraining this child." This was more in the sense of "Is someone roasting a chicken in here?" I don't know if that can actually happen but my arms definitely felt hot. Hopefully the doctor can tell if Nathan has a sinus infection and at the same time tell me if I have any problems with my ulna, radius, humerus, or clavicle. We all left the room the same way anyone would leave a janitor's closet they were forced into, quiet and feeling violated.

Torn Between Two Loves

My St. Louis Cardinals are what bring me back home. They have been my team for so many years. They've been my come-back, ace in the hole against my Cubs fan friends. Whenever they said something I didn't like, I could always come back with the World Series card. My Tampa Bay Rays are what make me call Tampa home. They exhilarate my love for defense and left me thirsting for more after last season. They are what bond me with my Cubs fan friends, a mutual ground that we can both call our team. Thursday's game was harder than I could have imagined. Every single play of the game was an explosion of joy, and a tearful let down at the same time. For the first time at a baseball game, I found myself cheering at every play that happened. I confused several people around me wearing my Evan Longoria jersey and my STL white and red baseball hat. Pat the bat, Yadie, Longo, Ankiel. I couldn't stop cheering. So when the game finally ended and my heart finally started to slow down, the man sitting next to me summed it up best. "Good news is you won, bad news is you lost." If you want to see some of the great views of the Charlotte Sports Park and the two best teams in baseball, check out our pics from the game.